Friday, February 3, 2017

The Super Bowl According to Dogs

I wrote this several years ago but thought I'd bring it back in honor of Super Bowl weekend.

The Super Bowl, According to Dogs

“What a boring football game! Lots of goodies on the coffee table. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?’
“I’m thinking of snatching that sausage and running for a touch down.”
“OK, go for it and I’ll block for you to stall them. “
“I’ll grab it when they least expect it.”
“Quick, they’re preoccupied right now by the Budweiser ad.”
“Oh, no, she saw you grab it. Look out, he‘s trying to tackle you. Don’t worry. I’ve got your back. Head for the kitchen and save half for me.”
“Oh, was I supposed to share?”
“Brat! Next time you block.”

THE NOISE


Mary had just put a load of laundry in the washer when she heard THE NOISE. She knew her husband, Tom was in the kitchen so she dismissed it as having come from one of his projects, which on occasion, could get quite noisy. Meanwhile, he assumed THE NOISE came from something she was doing in the basement.
That is, until they were eating lunch together and THE NOISE resumed.
“What IS that?” asked Tom. 
“I don’t know,” said Mary. I heard it earlier and thought it was you.”
“Maybe it’s the washer,” Tom suggested and he went to the basement to check it out.
“Well, I have no idea what it is. It sounded like it was coming from the washer but now it’s stopped. I have to run some errands but if you hear it again, let me know. We may have to call to have it repaired.”
Mary was relaxing with a good book when she heard THE NOISE again. With some trepidation, she descended the stairs to the basement. She stood by the wash machine for ten minutes but the washer only made its usual noises.
No sooner had she sat down to enjoy the intriguing story, when THE NOISE interrupted. Why do you always have to wait until I get to the best part? she muttered.
She removed the last load from the washer and put it in the dryer, figuring this would be the end to THE NOISE and she could enjoy reading in peace.
THE NOISE seemed to have other ideas and the banging seemed louder than ever to Mary. By now, she was not only exasperated, but somewhat frightened. She called Tom.
“It can’t be the washer. The wash is done.”
“I hope we don’t have squirrels in the basement again,” said Tom.
“Me, too.”
Flickertail, the llama was trying to snooze in the barn and was also disturbed by THE NOISE every time he started to doze off. However, he had more success in pinning down the source. He had a view of the side door of the house from his vantage point and noticed it banging against the siding as the wind blew, intermittently.
With his head, he tried to push the door closed so it would latch but the door resisted. Nosing it open, he discovered a plastic bag hanging from the inside door knob. Whatever was inside was bulky enough to keep the door from closing properly.
Mary, seeing Flickertail at the door from her kitchen window, was about to scold him for making so much noise and scaring Tom and her. As she opened the door, Flickertail showed her the bag. She opened it and discovered a wreath inside and a note from her friend, Lois.
“What a lovely and thoughtful gift,” said Mary.
Only later did she check her voice mail to find she could have saved Tom and herself several hours of needless worry.

7 year itch

Wow! That seven years went by quickly. My Flickertail and Paint book contract expires in a few days and will no longer be available on Amazon or anywhere else for that matter. In fact, all of my books will be out of print by the end of the year. I'm debating self publishing them and making them available as ebooks. Flickertail and Paint, Barnyard Sleuths is my most popular book.

WANT AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY?

For autographed copies of Flickertail & Paint, Barnyard Sleuths you can buy directly from my website.








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